They just love each other!



Such chubby cheeks, he's smiling as big as he can!

Mama's Day and our six-year anniversary

It was a gorgeous day here in NY. We spent Mother's Day at Bourbon St. Cafe with Mom, Ashleigh et al. Had a bit of a frustrating time leaving the house because no matter how hard I try I STILL cannot leave early enough to get to places on time. I try. I really do. I got angry with myself and didn't do a good job of managing my frustration and raised my voice and so of course, my four-year-old all-knowing sage tells me (and Ken) that I need to "sit and think about my tone of voice". G-d, this parenting business ain't easy.










Then onto the NYBG to celebrate our six year anniversary, a tradition we have shared every year since we were married there. I just love love love going back there. It reminds me that our wedding day was the best day of my life. I actually felt a little guilty telling Ava that today... thinking that even at age four she might think to say, "What do you mean your WEDDING day was the best day of your life? What about the day I was born?!" Fortunately, she didn't. But even down the road I don't think I'll be able to lie to her about that one. I feel like that author Ayelet something-or-other that everyone took a wild hate to when she said something about loving her husband more than her kids (I'm totally paraphrasing... but it was something along those lines), and that is NOT what I'm saying here, but to be clear... when else but your wedding day (or any other massive celebration for oneself) do you get to dress up in a beautiful gown, be surrounded by everyone on the planet that you love and make such a declaration? Suffice it to say, I wasn't at my best in the hospital during my deliveries. With Ava they practically had to handcuff me to the bed since I was so ill-prepared to have a baby (one month early) and with Ryan I was so sick I barely remember it! (I'm admittedly going into detail here so that when they both read this in 15 years they won't be angry with me for saying that their actual birthdays weren't the best of my life).





Highlight (and subsequent low-light) of the day: laying in the tall grass at the gardens raising both kids high up into the air and hearing their giggles. (Low-light part was when I laid down in a pile of animal poop. No, seriously. Right in the middle of my back.) And while it was a fabulous bicep workout mostly it was a moment in time I hope to always have at the forefront of my mind. Pure bliss.

Inauguration Day

I haven't been a diligent blogger as of late. While I have much to say about many things, I don't have much to say that I have felt like sharing lately.

Until today.

And so even though I am really not in the mood to post tonight, I am compelled to write this for moments like this are truly once in a lifetime. On Tuesday, January 22, 2009, Barack Obama took over the reins of the leader of the free world and not a moment too soon. The litany of troubles that our nation faces today is monstrous. We have a leader in office who will not (I pray) shy away from the difficulties that await his acumen.

I felt just as I had on Election Night only with more certainty and more assuredness. Jubilant. We all did. May it be just as we hope it will be. May we all be inspired by this great man and may he make sound decisions based on rational judgment. As citizens of the world, may we all be recognized and respected as such again.

I am proud to work for the organization I work for and I feel lucky as hell to feel that way. Being involved in this moment in history in even the small way I was is an honor that I will always be grateful for.

We won.

I had the pleasure of covering the elections for NBC News. I was in the DPS area as we were on the air from 7pm until 3am for our lengthy coverage of the most important historical moments I have ever witnessed. To many viewers I'm aware that it was a landslide victory from early on, but since I was there to do a job, I didn't notice what everyone else probably did much earlier than I.
That we won.
I mostly work in sports, where you are not allowed to cheer for your team (not that I really have one, so this isn't really a problem for me... plus my husband's team doesn't win often enough for me to cheer loudly). But that night, in that tiny little playback area that I was assigned to, we cheered. Because this was so much bigger than sport.
We cheered because a brilliant man, a thoughtful unifier of people, a black American became the 44th President of the United States of America. I don't care that his middle name is Hussein. I cheer because the majority of Americans could see beyond such a thing and STILL elect the best man for this job.

"She's invited..."

Let me start by saying that I will never, ever judge anyone who has help and doesn't work. Let me clarify: when I say 'doesn't work' I simply mean 'doesn't get PAID for their work', as is the situation of all stay-at-home-moms. Not that I judged before... but having the experience of caring for two now gives me true insight into the plight.

It's wonderful. Don't get me wrong. We're blessed. I'm thrilled. But I'm also just plain exhausted.

I've been talking to Ava about G-d. Trying to explain the intangible essence. I explain that G-d isn't a person, but rather a spirit. Then I start using pronouns and say 'he/she'. This confuses things, of course.
Me: "G-d is everywhere, honey. He or she is always with us.
Ava: "G-d's a she, even though I know she's a spirit and is neither a boy or a girl" (she really said this -- after several conversations with me about G-d)
Me: "Really? OK. I'm glad that you know that."
Ava: "I love G-d. G-d's invited to my birthday party."

How do I address the invitation?

Groundhog Day

That's what my life is at the moment.

Ryan, Joan and I have moved into the city for the duration of the Olympics and we've gotten into a nice little routine. I get home from work anywhere between 2 and 3am, I feed the baby, we go to sleep, wake up again around 7, feed him again, and then eventually they go out for a walk and I inevitably think, "Oh it would be so nice to join them in Central Park, but I'm just going to rest my head for a few minutes..." and before I know it, it's 3:15pm and it's time for me to wake up and go back to work. So while there's not necessarily time for much fun, we're in a good rhythm. Joan has been really wonderful with him and I am so relieved. Ava, Ken and Cate are back at home and enjoying the remainder of the summer.

I'm rolling both the Primetime and Late Night shows to air and I've got a great AD on the other end of the world which makes the work side of things fantastic. But these are some really long days, for instance, tonight we're on the air from 8pm until 1 am, then have a half-hour break before coming back on the air with Late Night for an hour. So while it's not brain surgery the hours are grueling. It is really nice to be back in the city, though.

If you're watching, hope you're enjoying the Games!

Here's what I know:

The boundaries you think you have for loving a finite number of people can be expanded to fit many, many people... especially when one of those people is a little baby who looks at you as if to say you are his everything.

I remember the moment three and a half years ago when I fell in love with Ava. We were in my hospital room and it was the first time that Ava and I were alone after a day surrounded by family and friends who had come to visit. I wasn't expecting the moment, I wasn't waiting for bells to chime or anything, but in that quiet moment as I sat in my hospital bed, I held her and looked at her I was hit with it. Complete and pure love. They say your heart now lives outside of your body and it's true.

So now I had expectations for this moment with bebe deux. But sure enough, and I suppose not so miraculously, kind of like the way you can still be hungry for dessert after being completely full from your wonderful dinner, I have fallen in complete and total love with my son, Ryan. And the joy in knowing how happy he makes Ken, makes me feel beyond blessed. It's everything I've ever wanted.